Few things are more uncomfortable than being cornered by a loaded question. You’re on the spot, the other person is waiting, and the premise itself is designed to make you look bad. Answering directly can feel like the only way out, but communication expert Dorie Clark says there’s a better move — one modeled by Gloria Steinem in a famous 1972 television appearance.
The moment that made the trick famous
On NBC’s “Meet the Press,” journalist Shana Alexander set up a question that assumed two things about the women’s movement: that it was “militant” and that it had an “enemy.” She asked Steinem, “Since it is a militant movement, I’d like to ask you — as you see it, who is the enemy now?”
Steinem didn’t take the bait. Instead of answering the question as posed, she rejected its language.
“Well, I wouldn’t call it a ‘militant movement,’ because ‘militant’ connotes violence,” Steinem said. “I would more likely call the Pentagon a ‘militant movement.’” She also disputed the word “enemy,” saying she preferred to think about “adversaries” — “those individuals who have usurped control of our lives.”
The tactic: a ‘word trade’
Clark, who taught executive education for more than a decade at Columbia Business School and Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business, calls Steinem’s approach the “word trade.” The idea is simple: Before answering, identify a term in the question that you believe is inaccurate or unfairly framed, substitute a more precise word or phrase, and briefly explain why you made the swap.
That small addition lets you push back without seeming defensive. Steinem knew that if she accepted the wording of the question — even implicitly by answering it — she would help cement a false impression. So she corrected the record before giving a substantive reply.
How to use it in everyday conversations
The same maneuver works in offices, family debates, and media interviews. Someone might ask, “Why did you botch that project?” — a question that assumes failure. A word trade response could be: “I wouldn’t say ‘botch.’ The project missed one deadline, but we delivered a result that met the client’s core goals. Let me explain what happened.”
People often try to put words in your mouth, says Clark. Loaded questions are a form of that. By naming the problem and offering your own framing, you keep control of the conversation and ensure your actual position gets heard.
The key is to stay calm and matter-of-fact. Steinem didn’t scold Alexander; she simply corrected the terminology and moved on. That made her seem reasonable, not evasive. The “word trade” turns a trap into an opportunity to clarify your views on your own terms.
Source: www.cnbc.com — https://www.cnbc.com/2026/09/08/when-someone-asks-loaded-question-use-gloria-steinem-powerful-trick-reject-unfair-framing.html
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